This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just puked most of my soul out..
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