You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
