I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
