the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He felt like a one man threesome
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
