Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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