I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
