Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
