; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
