I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
