she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
