Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
