I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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