we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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