she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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