and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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