Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
