Me. At least after what I've been through.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
