WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
