Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
