But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
