wat bout pragnant strippers??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
