It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
