i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I need water and some morals
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
