How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
