Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
