Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
