I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
