remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My dick has a subreddit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
