I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
