Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
