does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
