So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
