Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
