Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Non-Jews are for practice
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
