scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
