you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize