the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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