Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize