Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
