Tell her she can't have a vagina
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A+ Viking dick
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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