You just made me feel so damn special
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
