PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
