I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
