Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
