I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
