In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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