at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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