It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
