I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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