I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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