Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
