Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
