i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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