You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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