u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
