I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
