i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize