Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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