I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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