I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think my vagina is haunted
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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