Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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