Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
