my being single is dangerous.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
