I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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