I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
