I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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