So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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